Six Lessons Learned in 3 Short Months

My financial coaching business was legally incorporated as Kelley C. Long Consulting, LLC, on June 16, 2009, and in the three short months that have since ensued, I’ve acquired a lifetime of knowledge and lessons about hanging out my own shingle. If nothing else, it has offered quite the study on Kelley C. Long and what she can and cannot do.



As I’ve spoken with other budding entrepreneurs, and even those that have moved on to being officially classified as “experienced business owners,” I’m relieved to know that most of the lessons are not particularly unique to me. But since I am frequently asked how it’s going and have trouble condensing it into a 10 second answer, I thought I would compile a few of the things I’ve learned to date and share with my readers.



First, I do too much: This is probably not a newsflash to my family and close friends — I’ve always had a tendency to get involved in every cause that caught my interest although I’m not sure exactly why. Perhaps it’s my inability to pay attention to one thing for very long. Or maybe it’s more attributed to my acute awareness of the limited amount of time I have on Earth and wanting to try it ALL. Whatever the reason, it’s all started coming to a head lately and I’ve had to make some tough choices.



My 7-day to-do list recently included tasks ranging from writing an article about money, mentoring 1st-graders, and organizing a fund-raising gala to rehearsing for my church music ensemble, attending a continuing education seminar and promoting recycling to bars and restaurants. None of which paid a dime. Yep, I do too much.



Things were different when my bi-weekly paycheck was coming from The Man – I could keep that train going with a little effort during office hours, then spend the rest of my time pursuing other interests. But now that the food in my refrigerator is in direct proportion to the amount of time I spend working, I realize that despite my current life situation (not married, no kids yet, no mortgage or car payment… in other words, free as a bird) I really cannot do it all.



So how do I decide which activities to step away from as gracefully as possible and which to continue to strive toward? I’m starting with a holistic evaluation of my personal values coupled with the impact of my participation (or lack of, as the case may be) to help prioritize. But I admit that this may be the most excruciating realization of what being an entrepreneur really means.



There are a gazillion opportunities to make money. I can’t pursue them all: This realization can be easily summed up with one word: focus. As you’ve probably deduced from the first lesson above, focus does not come easily to me. Friends have suggested many great ideas to me regarding where to take my business — a class of people who could benefit from my services or a marketing idea or even a plan for collaboration. I’ve quickly learned that if I try to do them all at once, none of them will work regardless of their realistic merit. Each day offers more clarity into the most effective and engaging ways for me to evolve my business if I just focus on a select few ideas at a time.



I’ve also learned that the second time I try something is usually the most accurate predictor of whether it is sustainable. Too often the first go-round of an idea or event is well-received and seemingly successful, but it turns out that a lot of it had to do with novelty, people being nice and my own excessive optimism. Trying something a second time is the most telling to me as to whether it is worth pursuing long-term.



Everyone wants a piece of the guts: While leaving the rat race and striking out on my own seemed a natural progression of the journey I’ve been on since hitting the reset button two years ago, the headline, “I Quit My Well-Paying Corporate Job and Started My Own Gig,” sounds a lot braver to those who have not been along for the whole trip. Whether they are lauding my idea, envious of the ability to do it or looking for a ride on the coattails of something new and different, I’ve been flattered by some of the previously-uninterested individuals now taking a keen interest in what I’m doing. However, I’ve quickly learned to reel in my high need for approval in lieu of spending too much time with people who really just want a piece of the action.



This may sound like I will only spend time with people who can promote my cause, but it is really the opposite: I have had to learn how to distinguish those that only want to promote THEIR cause from those who are truly seeking a connection or with whom there is an opportunity for synergy. By evaluating different relationships, I’ve been able to deepen those that work and filter out those that don’t.



Working until 2:00am is no biggie when you can sleep until 10:00: I used to look with pity upon friends and contacts who worked outside traditional working hours, responding to emails on Sunday night or giving presentations on a Wednesday evening, thinking that it must really suck to have a job that requires such a time commitment. Now I realize that when you have a job that fulfills a deeper purpose and is an extension of skills and talents that come naturally to you, it is not a painful thing to work. Getting work done after dinner can actually be relaxing to me, as I know that I won’t have to scramble in the morning to get started. And it makes those leisurely lunches with friends all the more rewarding, knowing that I’m not limited to accomplishing tasks within “office hours.”



Money really doesn’t buy happiness: I had a pretty good grasp on this before I left my cushy salaried job, but there’s nothing like reality to drive the lesson home. On the surface it is nerve-wracking to look at my checking account and see that the balance is less than my monthly rent payment. In the past, this was no big deal as I knew a payday was coming that would fill the gap. With the uncertainty of when payday is to come these days, I’ve had to take a chill pill about having a large bank balance to fall back on. While it was nice to have $20,000 in the bank with a regular paycheck covering all my bills, I can confidently say that I am much happier with my day-to-day life despite having to dip into my savings to make ends meet as I get things off the ground. Because after all, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard. And right now I’m spending each day doing things that I never would have been able to do had I not taken the risk of becoming my own boss.



“Roller coaster ride” is understating it: Before taking the leap to make it on my own, I consulted several self-employed friends who I respect and admire. Each of them advised me that starting and running a business is equivalent to a roller coaster ride. Since I’m a big fan of putting my life on the line by racing at breakneck speed in a small car down a tiny steel track, I felt ready to hop on the ride of my life.



But not even the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point could have prepared me for the elation of the highs or the despair of the lows. I have a policy about sharing my moods with people to whom I’m not speaking on the phone or sitting with face-to-face — I simply don’t broadcast such news via social media. But I will share that I have had my fair share of moments when I looked myself in the eye and asked, “Kelley, how the HELL are you going to make this happen?”



Luckily I am blessed with a strong bench of back-up optimists to whom I can reach out for encouragement and reminders of why I did this in the first place. And I’ve also maintained a line-up of realists to keep me on track when I want to rest on my laurels too long after a victory. They encourage me to celebrate the good times, but also to ride the wave of elation toward continued accomplishment.



In summary, I regularly tell people I feel like my life is a vacation since launching my practice. Not the kind where you lay comatose on a remote beach trying to convince yourself that you’re really ok with your job and the unrelenting chaos of “real life,” but the kind where you spend each day experiencing moments that change you for life.



Perhaps you’ve climbed a mountain on a vacation — a task that has moments of total pain and discouragement, but by pushing through to the summit, you found it well beyond any negative experience in getting there. Or you’ve explored a foreign city surviving language barriers, strange food and times of pure panic when lost in a rough neighborhood, all outweighed by the feeling of triumph and accomplishment at the resilience and strength gained from not only making it but having an experiential reminder of how wonderful life really is. THAT’S the kind of vacation I’m talking about.



I have the freedom to look at each opportunity that interests me and creatively explore ways that I can participate without worrying about violating any corporate codes or getting tangled in red tape. This also requires a much greater deal of trust in myself, faith in the universe and personal accountability, which can be a momentous struggle at times. But so far I find it worth it and only hope to spread the message of encouragement to each person I meet to really listen to their intuitive voice and live life like it’s the only chance we have. Because after all, we only get one ride…



So now you tell me: Are you living the life you imagined you would be living when still a dreamy-eyed child? If not, what’s holding you back from pursuing the life you really want to live?